Dear President-elect Obama...

I will start by saying that I didn't vote for you. I think there was just a part of me that believed a man should be able to keep what he earns, or maybe I was just a little afraid of socialism. Either way, I hope you can forgive me. The other day as I sat in my small basement apartment, studying my minuscule bank account, and thinking about the many expenses of the future, I was suddenly overcome with an exciting sense of excitement. I realized that I didn't need to worry about anything at all. How could I have been so blind? The answer to all my problems lay before me in the forms of hope and change. I would like to thank you in advance for all the wonderful things you are going to do for me.

I was planning on attending medical school. Can you believe that? I was willing to work my butt off for a decade, mastering an extremely difficult profession, only to turn around and work my butt off the rest of my life. I even had the nerve to think that such work would make me deserving of my financial dues. How silly. I realize now that I don't need to worry about all that. Thanks to you, I may not even need to work at all. I am so excited to be apart of the many social programs you are undoubtedly going to put into place.

I certainly don't want to be greedy. So I write you that you will know that I ask for very little. A prepaid mortgage to a home of my choice will of course be necessary in todays finanical crisis. I would love to be recipient of an alternative fuel vehicle, with the alternative fuel being, of course, subsidized by you. Groceries are pretty expensive, so I will need you to take care of those for me. Other then just some discretionary spending money, I really don't think I could ask much more for you. At least for now.

Being poor, I am so grateful for the thousands of hard working Americans who are going to have their wealth redistributed my way. It's hard for me to say that I deserve it, but I will just trust you that I do. Again, thank you for making my life so easy. This is the America I have always dreamed of, and now I won't even have to struggle to have it. You are going to be the greatest president ever.

Sincerely,

Trevor